Home > Issuing Retractions > Mystified and Dumbfounded! The Very True Story of a Man Living Two Lives.

Mystified and Dumbfounded! The Very True Story of a Man Living Two Lives.

Let me begin by issuing a retraction. What am I retracting?

Well in my most recent post we delved into some of my childhood memories. Namely my deep-seated psychological difficulty ridding my innermost thoughts of the distressing sounds of a “Michael Bolton saxophone solo”.

So I guess I was wrong.

To kind of quote an ex US President, “indeed I did mistake the once popular saxophonist Kenny G for the also once-popular recording artist Michael Bolton. This was not appropriate. In fact it was wrong. It constituted a remarkable lapse in judgement and a personal failure to differentiate on my part, for which I am solely and completely responsible“.

Now that we have that tedious public admission out-of-the-way let us get to defending what is a common mistake.

In your ‘brave’ googling I am sure you have thought me ridiculous or even silly for making such a blunder. But before you crucify me for my misjudgment give me a chance to convince you that I am not as silly as you think (Although I may be sounding paranoid right now, you have no right to judge me for it. Darn! That came off sounding paranoid too, you say? Doh!)

First, let’s go to the photographic evidence. Motion to an imaginary assistant to queue the presentation.

If these two men are not carbon copies of each other I may have to begin questioning the nature of the universe. And trust me no one wants that.

That frazzled hair, alone, proves that these two men could be exactly the same person. Think about it. It’s the perfect cover. One sings while the other plays an instrument. Have we ever seen Michael Bolton play a saxophone or better yet, have we ever heard the singing voice of Kenny G? ………….. (crickets)………… Don’t worry I’ll wait.

The answer should be clear. The reason they never cross over is because they will be found out. These two men are actually one man. I am almost sure of it.

And then this…

If that isn’t the greatest case of computer generated cloning effects I don’t know what is!

The deception has gone far enough.

The man, who shall be known henceforth as Kenny Bolton, has gone to the most incredible and extreme lengths to live this life of duplicity. Enjoying all the benefits of two worlds while enduring the pain of one juggled life.

We salute Kenny Bolton but at the same time pity him.

Many artists have successfully crossed over as multi-platform performers but yet he still feels the need to hide his own skills behind a curtain of clever make-up, changing stage names and deceit.

Be honest with us Kenny. Please Mr. Bolton. Once and for all.

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